Howdy all! Well the day is finally here, I’m sitting at the gate for my first leg of the flight to South America with some ample time to just write. As a scientist we are trained to be strict with our observations. My eyes have become trained over the years to be fine tuned to my surroundings. So what better to do than people watch at the airport and blog about it? Plus I know how much you’re all enjoying the memes.
So here it is, the seven types of people you commonly see at the airport.
1. The business man.
This guy just can’t leave his work anywhere. He’s always on the phone yelling at Jerry to not lose those accounts. Then calling Jim to talk passive aggressively about Jerry. You’ll know him when you see him, iPhone at ear, fine Italian leather shoes. He’ll also cut you in line at the newsstand and then give you a pitying thank you glance.
2. The fashionista.
With beauty comes sacrifice for this woman and you better watch out because she’ll mow you over in her 4 inch stilettos and Louis Vuitton bag. How is that even comfortable?! Extra bonus points if she comes with a yappy ankle-biter in a purse.
3. The pajama clad bum.
You’ll know her when you see her. Ugg boots any time of the year, even July in Texas, pajama pants/sweat pants tucked in. Extra bonus if she has a messy bun and a frappuchino. She is the polar opposite of the fashionista.
4. The child leash mom.
Maybe just one, maybe a whole pack? This mom has her kids under control. Some call her a bad parent, I call her genius. If my future kids are anything like David, they’ll all have leashes. RIP Harambe.
5. The over packer.
Alright. I’ll be the first to admit….this is me. The person who has so much crap shoved into their little carry on that they are physically struggling on the outside. You don’t want to know how we feel on the inside as you all judge our super stuffed luggage and our flailing as we cram it into the overhead bin.
6. The no pants party.
This would also be me if I had buns of steel. Who wants to wear pants? Not me. And if you judge my leggings as pants then you can fight me. Prepare for an ass kicking because I will have full range of motion in my “non-pants”. No pants party in 2020! (I found this meme and couldn’t resist and if you find it offensive you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog)
7. The couple who is super in love.
They refuse to let go of each others hands, probably play tonsil hockey to everyone’s dismay, and just love each other so. much. Extra bonus if they’re wearing matching shirts or on their honeymoon.
Well that’s it for now. God Bless me as I leave the best damn state in this union. I’m going to miss the unlimited supply of Whataburger, sweet tea, and Jack Daniels.
–The Girl with the Big Bass